How to stop your HS from getting in the way of your love life
Life and relationships can be hard to manage as it is. Throw a chronic skin condition like Hidradenitis Suppurativa in the mix, your love life can get complicated. Here are a few ways you can help stop your budding relationship from being affected by your HS.
Don’t lower your standards
First of all, don’t blame everything on your HS. Everyone that dates goes through their fair share of bad experiences before they find someone special. This is normal, so be smart about it. Don’t lower your standards, raise them. Choose someone you find attractive but also has a kind soul that is willing to tough it out with you and remain understanding during the difficult times. If you believe in the law of attraction then you should start being the kind of person you want to attract as a partner. And remember, as Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Confidence is key
We know this is easier said than done. Not only are the physical symptoms of HS a knock to someone’s confidence, but the condition is also known to cause depression and social anxiety too. Try to remember that HS does not define you and you can have a happy love life, even with hidradenitis suppurativa. You are so much more than this skin condition. It’s not your fault you have it and if someone can’t understand that, then are they worth it anyway?
Always be prepared
You’ve probably been living with HS a while now and have hopefully found a few solutions that help you manage your symptoms during a flare-up. (if you haven’t, join our HS community and ask other HS warriors how they manage). When untimely flare-ups occur it’s important to remember these remedies and not to stress out too much. Make small kits of all the basic supplies you need. Always make sure to have one with you and then keep a few in your car, around your house, at your gym and in your overnight bags to ensure you will never be stuck without. Knowing that you have everything you need with you, should help give some peace of mind.
Give yourself a boost
Given that HS can have a negative effect on your self-confidence and body image, take some steps to improve it. Two of the most obvious ways to do this is to eat healthily and exercise. Who’s going to be looking at your skin when you’ve built yourself a rocking body? During a flare-up, it may be difficult to get to the gym. Try getting out for a short walk or doing a short yoga stretch. Be kind to yourself. All these little things will make you feel a bit better and give you a boost.
It’s not all about sex
Sex is a very important part of a romantic relationship, but it’s not the be all and end all. Forming a close relationship with someone involves trust, respect, and intimacy. Hand holding, hugging, kissing and cuddling are just as important as sex. There are lots of ways to improve your physical connection with someone without sex. It is so important to never feel pressured into having sex, nor to feel guilty if you cannot have sex due to your HS. It can be frustrating, but only do what you want to, when you want to and make sure you are comfortable at all times.